The Self-Care Paradox: How Putting Yourself First Benefits Everyone

“Sacrificing our own needs and always putting our self-care last is a toxic habit that we must unlearn if we want to live our healthiest, happiest, most fulfilling lives. It's not selfish, it's just plain smart.”

Yes, I'm quoting myself. 😝 Chapter five of A Few Good Habits is all about all of the many ways that we tend to put everyone else's needs first.

In a world where demands seem endless, it's easy to slip into the pattern of prioritizing others over ourselves. We juggle family, work, social commitments, and countless responsibilities, often leaving little room for self-care.

But here's the truth: It's not selfish to take care of your mind and body—on purpose—every day. In fact, it's a fundamental aspect of leading a balanced and fulfilling life.

A common pattern I see with the women I coach is that all of their good habits go out the window as soon as anything more ‘pressing' comes up to disrupt their days. You know what I'm talking about; it's that unexpected work deadline, the kids needing your attention, or a friend in need. Life is unpredictable, and it has a way of throwing curveballs when we least expect it.

But here's the kicker—your well-being should not be at the mercy of these curveballs. You have to find that delicate balance between taking care of your responsibilities and ensuring you don't neglect yourself in the process.

We have to drop the unhealthy coping mechanisms that we sometimes resort to during tough times, like ‘revenge bedtime.'

Never heard of it? I bet it will sound familiar…picture this: You've had a long, exhausting day, and all you want to do is unwind. But, instead of engaging in self-care activities like journaling or meditating, you stay up too late, sipping on a glass of wine and indulging in reality TV. It's a short-term escape, but it doesn't serve your long-term well-being. Not only that, you've set yourself up for a rough morning the next day.

Please hear me when I say, prioritizing self-care is not a luxury; it's a necessity. It's not selfish to set healthy boundaries, to carve out time for activities that rejuvenate your mind and body, and to ensure you get the rest you need.

In fact, it's an act of self-preservation, and it not only serves you but everyone who genuinely cares about you. When you're at your best, you bring your A-game to your relationships, your work, and every aspect of your life.

If you want to explore these concepts further, A Few Good Habits is available online now at Amazon,, Barnes & Noble, and BAM. It's packed with insights and practical advice to help you prioritize self-care and lead a more fulfilling life.

Leave a Comment